Speak Blessings Over Yourself and Others
I'd like to start off by asking you to think that if you have said anything negative about yourselves today? How about in the past three days? How about in the past seven days?
I talked to employees, vendors and customers from all walks of life all day long when I used to run my fashion shop. Now I still talk to people all day long working as a life coach. The very common thing I notice about our conversations is that people often talk about themselves in a negative way. They say things like, "I'm overweight since I was a child, so it's not gonna be easy for me to loose weight.", "I'm always late cause I'm driving an old car and it always gives me problems.", "My parents are dysfunctional and they'll never understand me or support my dreams.", "My child is out of control, he's just like his dad and what can I do!" , "Alcoholism runs in my family, so I'm susceptible to alcohol.", "My boss doesn't like me so we don't get along well.". The list goes on and on. Most of us are unaware of the negative things that we say to ourselves either out loud or in our head on a regular basis. And very often we find things start happen the negative way we "predict". The truth to the matter is that we're speaking word curses over ourselves instead of blessings every time we utter negative things about us.
Do you know that our words have power? Every time we say something negative about ourselves, we reinforce the negative events that happened in our lives in the past to form the negative belief about ourselves, and our mind listens to us constantly and carefully because it's trying to fulfill what comes out of our mouth. We have a tendency to act what we say.
The negative things about us may be true in the past but it's not necessary true about us now and absolutely not true about us in the future. We're not living in the past but living in the present and moving forwards into the future, so please don't confess things that are untrue about yourselves. Be intentional about your speech to yourselves verbally and in your head. Try to catch and stop yourselves from confessing the things that you don't want happen to you.
What you give weight to is what you receive from. What you focus on is what you receive from. So focus on the things that you want instead of the things that you don't want.
Practice, practice and practice speaking blessings over yourselves on a daily basis - saying good and positive things about yourselves even you don't feel them, and you mind, soul and body will start feeling and acting who you say you are. Say things like, "I'm an overcomer and I can do all things.", "I'm beautiful and lovable.", "I can finish this assignment that my boss gave me, I'll gain wisdom and competence after it's done and I'll make it a fun project.", "My child is a good kid and I'm a good mom.", "I'll be on time and my car will not give me any trouble.", "My parents will come to their senses and they will understand and support me.", "I'm a happy person and I will not allow depression to steal one more day of my life.", "I get along well with my boss and I'll respect and smile at her when things get tough between us because I'm in control of my own emotions, not others.", "I'm gonna have a great day today. Today is a blessed day for me!".
It takes twenty-one day to form a habit, so I encourage you to start today to be intentional about what you say to yourselves and challenge yourselves to only speak blessings, say good and positive things about yourselves the next twenty-one days. Better still speak blessings, say good and positive things about others even they are not walking in those areas yet, and very soon you'll see the shift in their lives. Because you've been speaking blessings over them. For instance, you can say things like, "My son is drug free. He has total freedom from addiction." Even the son is still bound by drugs at the present, but because you take authority as a parent and declare freedom on his behalf constantly. You'll see his freedom. You'll also notice your word blessings for others will return back to you. That is the law of attraction - blessings attract blessings. Whatever we measure to others, the same will be measured to us. Apply that principle to all the areas you want to see change in your life and in others' lives.
May you be in good health so as your soul prospers.
If you have any question, you can send me an email at: Yusan@IntentionalLifeCoaching.org
Here’s how renewing of mind works:
When our mind is renewed by the truth of God, we put on a new identity that is in line with the perfect will of God who created us and knows us well. The creator of our lives knows exactly how many hairs we have on our heads. The Bible says God ever numbers our hairs. This is how well our Creator knows us. He knows every thought we have in both our conscious and subconscious minds. God has given us free-will, and He’s a gentleman. He doesn't intrude. But when we invite Him to work on our mind, He will. His Holy Spirit will shape our mind into thinking only true, wholesome, godly, holy, perfect, righteous things. Soon the old untrue, ungodly and distorted view of ourselves, other and God are replaced by His truth. Then our new godly mindset in our subconscious mind begins to function according to the perfect will of God which has no errors or deceptions. All the negative stuffs that we picked up in the past are gradually removed and replaced by the truth of God. And because our mind are thinking the things that are noble, just, pure, lovely and praiseworthy; we’re naturally able to produce good results and yield good fruits in our lives.
“ Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Philippians 4:8
How do we know the truth of God?
There are two ways we can know the truth of God:
When we accept Jesus as our personal Savior, God’s Spirit – the Holy Spirit then comes live inside us and begins His work of telling us the truth, guiding us to the right path by His divine power.
Renewing of mind is like our body needing nutrients to sustain good health. Renewing our mind by reading God's words and allowing His Holy Spirit to speak to our hearts directly is important. It should be on-going and on a daily basis. We probably won't see any ill effect on our body right away if we skip one or two meals. But if we don't eat health food for nutrients for a period of time. We'll definitely experience some ill effect on our body. Likewise, everyday we are in the world that is filled with negativity, false teachings, deceptions, wrong information, etc. If we don't renew our mind on a daily basis by allowing the truth of God to sink into our belief system so to produce strength, love, peace, joy and good fruits. Our belief system will be susceptible to the negativity and deception around us and produce unwanted negative behaviors. The word of God is like nutrients to our soul. There's power in the words of God and they are relevant to anyone who reads them.
Here’s another interesting thing about our subconscious mind:
Our subconscious mind is in the Alpha state just at the moment before we fall asleep and at the very first moment we wake up. During this state we are more receptive towards suggestions and affirmations. Now with this knowledge, we know that it’s best to surround ourselves with positivity during those two prime times. So try not to go to bed or wake up thinking about negative stuffs or allowing negative emotions to dominate your thought. They will stay in you and it’s hard to remove them from your subconscious mind later. Read the words of God instead or meditate on His truth during those two prime times. Let God’s truth shape your thinking hence transform you.
“This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.” Joshua 1:8
Lastly, the language of the mind is mental image. Our mind thinks only in the form of images, it can never think in words. Our spoken words are just representing the images we have in mind, even if we are mentally spelling out the word. Try think an apple, what do you see? That’s why visualization and imagination are so powerful in programming and influencing the subconscious mind.
Remember what the word of God says about imagination?
“For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds; casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalt itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:4-5
If our imagination is not in line with God but what the world is telling us, then we need to cast that imagination down by using the spiritual weapons provided by God (I’ll talk about that in my next blog). If what we visualize is not in line with God, then we need to be very careful because our visualization is powerful to shape and form our reality both in the natural and the spiritual realms.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2
The word of God tells us that we need to have visions (to visualize in our mind the dreams and goals we have) and to write down our visions (our desires) and read them. Doing so will empower us to fulfill our dreams and goals.
“Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it.” Habakkuk 2:2
God gives every single one of us vision, and we’re instructed to write it down and make it plain, so we can run with it. We are called to excel and succeed. So next time when God gives you a vision, write it down and start visualizing it. For instant, if God gave you a vision of becoming a teacher, start thinking what you're going to teach, where and when you're going to teach, start envisioning teaching a class, put your face in the future, and start dreaming about your vision. Before you know it, your vision will become true.
Remember our mind always finds a way to fulfill what we see in our mind. What we think and believe in our mind will produce the outcome of our thinking and belief. If we think and believe that we're worthless, we will do things that reflect that belief, and worst we will often attract people who think and see that we're worthless. If we think and believe that we're a person of value, trustworthy, capable, wise, hardworking and loving, we will do things that reflect that belief, we will live life to be that person. And others will see the same qualities in us.
If you have any question, you can send me an email at: Yusan@IntentionalLifeCoaching.org
More and more people are talking about “strongholds” and “renewing of mind”. What exactly do those terms mean? Are they related to modern day scientific description of “subconscious mind”, “neuroplasticity” and “positive thinking”? Why do we need to know how they affect our behaviors?
Before I go on explaining what “strongholds” and “renewing of mind” mean, allow me to tell you what our modern day scientists have discovered recently:
Researchers and scientists are now discovering that our subconscious mind tricks our conscious mind into producing unwanted negative behaviors. A most recent research done by Cleveland Clinic titled “Don’t believe everything you think”: “95% of our thoughts are being repeated in our subconscious mind and 80% of those habitual thoughts are negative.” That leaves only 5% of our thoughts are processed in a conscious level. Now if we want to change our unhealthy unproductive behavior patterns, we ought to change the way we think right down to the unconscious level.
The terms “strongholds” and “renewing of mind” are found in the Bible written about 2000 years ago. “Strongholds” were walls built around the ancient cities to shield them from intruding forces. Paul, the author of 2 Corinthians used the term to metaphorically depict a negative thought pattern stored in our mind that was guarded by walls so it’s hard to be removed.
Strongholds are built upon deception and error. These errors and deceptions which form strongholds can come from a wide variety of sources, including our environment, those around us, our parents or even demonic spirits.
“For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds; casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalt itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:4-5
“Renewing of mind” is an ongoing process of removing the negative thought patterns from our subconscious mind that affect our behaviors. It is allowing the truth of God that is written on the Bible to shape our thinking and remove the strongholds from our mind.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2
With our 21st century cutting-edge research and technology, scientists found out that strongholds are those 80% of habitual negative thoughts that run on their autopilot mode day in and day out in our subconscious mind, and are affecting our ability to solve problems and make wise decisions.
Here’s how our subconscious mind works and how strongholds can take residence in it:
Subconscious mind works day and night and it never stops until we take our last breath. The job of our subconscious mind is to support the life system – it keeps our heart pumping, monitoring blood circulation, performing body healing, monitoring the digestion system and etc. The subconscious is always there even when we consciously retire and it even becomes stronger when we are asleep. That’s why it is advisable that you do not let your TV or radio on when you are asleep. Imagine what type of messages that your subconscious mind gets if you let those violence and horror scenes run on your TV! That’s one of the ways strongholds formed in our subconscious mind. I’ll explain that further in a minute.
Our subconscious mind does not possess the ability to think and reason but inevitably, it solves much problem than the conscious mind. This is due to its ability to connect with the super conscious mind (the field of infinite intelligence which I believe it’s the Holy Spirit) to search for solution. Believe it or not, there is at least a solution for every problem and you might not know where to look for, but your subconscious mind always does.
Now we know there are so many wonderful things that our subconscious mind can do, but there are also downsides of it if we don’t know how to protect it from external pollution. By nature our subconscious mind functions voluntarily and the receptive mode of it is always ON and there is nowhere we can shut it down. If we do not make any effort to influence and stand guard of our subconscious mind, it will voluntarily seek out for just anything that it can find. By default, the psychology of the masses is always geared toward the negativity, and this also means that they are always broadcasting negative stuffs and often with errors and deceptions. If we do not take conscious effect to shield our mind from that, they will get picked up as subliminal messages – a kind of subtle energy that escapes our hearing sense, another type of stronghold.
Our subconscious mind does not remain idle. It can hardly stand still and it will always look out for reference that it can keep and rely on. If we fail to find something, particular a goal to impress our subconscious, it will randomly pick up just any thought that enters in it regardless good or bad because our subconscious mind does not have the ability to differentiate good or evil, reality or fantasy, true or false. Bear in mind that we are always surrounded by negativity, false teachings, wrong ideas and incorrect information. Just look around, read the news and watch TV, I’m sure you can understand what I’m talking about.
Strongholds are untrue, unwholesome, ungodly, distorted image about oneself, others and God formed over a period of time and often get reinforced over and over again.
There are many common strongholds such as Pride, Greed, Fear, Addition, Adultery, Unbelief, Abuse, Hatred, Self-hatred, Idolatry, Jealousy, just to name a few.
When I was a young girl, my mom always told me that I was ugly and unwanted. I experienced a lot of verbal and physical abuse growing up. My subconscious mind picked up a lot of bad and untrue massages about myself and the strongholds of low self-esteem, and self-hatred were formed in me. I viewed myself as an ugly and unwanted girl because I believed what my mom told me. I left home when I was 17 and from then onwards no matter how hard I tried not to, I kept “running” into men that would verbal and physically abuse me. And I always had a sense that because I was ugly so they abused me and didn’t want me. Why? Not that I was a bad luck, that has nothing to do with luck. It has everything to do with the strongholds of low self-esteem and self-hatred that were operating in my life – the unconscious negative internal dialogue. Until one day I learned the truth from the words of God saying that I was beautiful because I was wonderfully and fearfully created by Him for a purpose. The words of God also said that I was whole, holy, righteous, perfect, lovable, gifted, blessed and able because I was created in the image of God. He told me to look at the unique fingerprints that He gave me. As soon as I allowed the truth of God to renew my mind while it was pulling down the strongholds in my mind, I was able to feel free the first time of my life. Now my old strongholds are gone, I’m no long drawn to abusers, and they too are no longer drawn to me. It’s amazing how powerful the renewing of mind changed my life.
(to be continued)
If you have any question, you can send me an email at: Yusan@IntentionalLifeCoaching.org
Are You Feeling Stuck in Life? Are Your Emotions and Thoughts Taking You to Places You Don't Want To Go?
You Can Get Unstuck by Replacing Unconscious Negative Self-Talk with the Truth.
I wondered how many times I sabotaged my own dreams by allowing negative self-talk to control me. How many times I unconsciously talked myself out of the things that I was capable to do and how many times I unconsciously talked myself into doing things that I was not supposed to do.
The definition of "unconscious" is the part of the mind that is inaccessible to the conscious mind but that affects behavior and emotions.
In Freudian psychology, the unconscious cannot be directly observed with the conscious mind, but it has its own processes and deeply affects conscious thought.
We all have been hurt, some more than the others. Our history and background form our belief, some more negative than the others.
Long before psychology came around, God said in His words:
“Keep your heart with diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23
“For as he thinks in his heart, so as he.” Proverbs 23:7
With our 21st century modern technology, many scientists and researchers just found out that most people can speak at a rate of 150 to 200 words per minutes, but the mind can listen to about 500 to 600 words a minute. That’s why you can read my blog now and plan for dinner at the same time. Our minds are really an amazing creation. It would take a computer the size of a small city just to carry out the basic functions of your brain. Your brain contains over one hundred billion nerve cells. Each individual cell is connected with ten thousand other neurons. The Bible says we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). And we’re created in the image of God (Genesis 9:6).
With all that said, lately top scientists found out that our internal dialogue – the conversation we have with ourselves – is at a rate of 1500 words per minute. How? Because our mind sees in pictures, and you can see a thought in a nanosecond! Wow, that’s fast!! That’s why you can be having a positive conversation with your boss presenting some great ideas; all the while feeling stressed, uncertain, insecure, sometimes having flashbacks about past failures; and be totally unaware of your negative self-talk is playing a script in your subconscious mind.
A lot of us are operating in a negative self-talk mode at a subconscious level based on our history and background – what was told about us when we were young and what negative influence we have received in the past. We can walk into a meeting smiling, but in our subconscious minds we are telling ourselves, “I’m fat. I’m unattractive. I’m not good enough and I’m always late!”
According to a recent research done by Cleveland Clinic titled “Don’t believe everything you think”: “95 percent (of unconscious internal dialogues) are the same thoughts repeated every day. On average, 80 percent of those habitual thoughts are negative. Unfortunately, our brains are hardwired to pay more attention to negative experiences than to positive ones.”
Wow! Without us even realize that there are constant internal dialogues going on in our minds, amazingly 95 percent are the same thoughts day in and day out, and 80 percent are negative thought patterns that affect our daily decision making, how we feel, how we interpret things, how we live our life and how we interact with others. No wonder the rates of chronic depression, heart-related health issues, emotional-related diseases, mental problems, substance abuse, relational problems and even suicide just to name a few are rocket high.
What can we do to stop the effect of unconscious negative self-talk? Can knowledge on the topic help? Can positive-thinking help?
I'd like to use my personal story and my findings to answer those often-asked questions:
Here's my background: I was born and raised in a very dysfunctional household where women were devalued and treated as second-class citizens in our culture. As a young girl born in early 70s in China, I was told by my mother that she wished she had ringed my neck when I was still an infant so I would be dead. I was given a boy’s name because my parents wished that I was a boy. I was told that I was picked up from a dumpster, that I was ugly, worthless, a burden to my family and as a girl I shouldn't receive much education. After many years of verbal and physical abuse at home, later in life, somehow I decided to stay married to an abusive husband who almost killed me by suffocating me with a pillow on our third year of dysfunctional marriage. Four years later somehow I decided to move to the U.S. and marry another very abusive husband and this time I ended up with chronic depression, suffered from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), carried many physical injuries and emotional traumas. And later had to travel and live in a few battered women shelters for a period of two years in downtown Phoenix, Arizona.
How did I keep having abuse in my life? Why was I attracted to abusive men and kept running into people who were happy to take advantage of me? No matter how many times I promised myself that I would never fall for abusive people, I kept repeating the same negative patterns in my life. Why?
In effort to get rid of my life-long unexplainable self-sabotage destructive behaviors, during my two-year shelter life, I have faithfully gone to many counselling sessions, self-development seminars, support groups, women's conferences, weekly workshops and even deliverance sessions seeking the truth to heal and set me free. I have also diligently read a wide spectrum of books with topics such as human mental development, dynamic of abuse, emotional health, negative behaviors, profiles of abusers, psychology, etc. On top of that, I also watched and listened to many teachings on DVDs, CDs and on the radio. I did my own researches. And I constantly prayed and read the Bible. Now you can see that I was desperate - desperate to get rid of my 35+ years of toxins in my system!
All of the above studies and researches helped and gave me knowledge. But knowledge doesn't have the power to heal or set me free. How many of us know that eating donuts for breakfast is bad for our health? We have the knowledge of what donuts are made of and how they can do to our waistline and our arteries. But we eat them anyway.
Only the Truth which I found out is the Word of God that has power to change and transform us - to heal and set us free forever! Because the Truth reveals godly wisdom to us and empowers us to shake the monkey off our back!
I have learned positive thinking and that helped a little but it didn’t help me get to the root cause of my destructive behaviors because my mindset was still in a wrong place. Ah! My mindset! The Bible, the words of God, told me that my life was shaped by my thoughts. My thoughts determined my feelings, and my feelings determined my actions. If I want to change my life, I’ve got to change the way I think.
Positive thinking only becomes effective when the “positives” are based on the truth, which is the revelation of the words of God. The words of God tell us that we are created in the image of God, the creator of the universe, and we’re fearfully and wonderfully made. Just lay your two hands on your head. The little size of your head carries the most sophisticated computer in the world, and it’s uniquely loaded with gifts and talents that only you have to solve the problems you’re created to solve. Now our past and hurts tell us things that contrary to the truth. And science proves that we’re hardwired to store more negative memories than positive ones, hence live our lives based on our negative experiences more than the positive ones unconsciously. The key word here is "unconsciously".
What do we do to rid the unconscious negative self-talk or thought pattern if you will?
The Word of God tells us that the only way to counter the unconscious negative self-talk is to replace it with: “Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things" (Philippians 4:8).
Next time when you’re feeling stressed, uncertain, down, emotional or crappy. Ask yourself, “What am I thinking? What is the script that is playing in the back of my mind that is contrary to the Truth?”
I used to have a script telling me that I was ugly. Remember we usually don’t realize that kind of script is playing in our subconscious minds until we see our negative behaviors.
One day I finally noticed that I had a rather time-wasting behavior that I didn’t quite understand the cause – I would spend two hours trying to “fix” my hair and another two hours putting on makeup and picking out clothes before I went out to see people, and I was always later. That had been going on for years. I asked the Holy Spirit why I would behave that way, and He revealed to me that my mindset was against the truth. I believed that I was ugly and I needed to “fix” my ugliness. That was the script being played in my subconscious mind since I was a young girl and I was completely unaware of it until I noticed my negative behaviors.
To counter that stinky thought so to change my behavior, now every time I found myself trying to “fix” my hair or spending too much time putting on makeup and picking out clothes. I would stop and spoke out to myself, “I’m the daughter of the Most High God, I’m beautiful because God says I’m, and God doesn't made garbage.” I redirected my mind to think what God says about me and all the good things that are true about me. I focused on what I wanted that was in line with God's will rather than what I tried to avoid that was already in the past.
For a while I practiced speaking out loud to myself until the truth of God sank into my heart and it became my belief. I will share with you the power of our spoken words and how our body listens to our utterance in my next blog. It’s a freedom that now I don’t have to waste four hours trying to “fix” my natural beauty every time I go out to the world. Now I not only feel confident, conduct myself in a confident way but also think confidently inside. Remember our lives are shaped by our thoughts. Our thoughts determine our feelings, and our feelings determine our actions.
The reality check: whenever you see a negative behavior, it’s always stemmed from a negative self-talk in the subconscious mind. And we have to replace the negative thought with the truth of God that empowers us to transform.
Another yucky self-talk script my subconscious mind played for many decades was, “You’re worthless! You’re picked up from a dumpster!”
It had been years that I would spend all my paychecks on designer clothing and going to high-end restaurants just to make myself feel worthy. You can imagine my finances were not healthy at all. I used to make a lot of money because I needed to prove to my parents my worthiness but then I spent all my money on clothing that I never really worn.
I did not see my behaviors were unhealthy. Then one day the truth shined light on my negative decision-making on money. I had to intentionally remind myself that I worth the life of Jesus – He died for me on the cross. The earth was created for me to live and enjoy life. And I have the right to live, express myself and contribute because I was given a set of gifts to solve problems and fulfill my destiny. It took me a while to replace that yucky self-talk with the truth of God. But God is faithful. He will empower you to rid the negative thoughts in your life when you give Him permission – when you invite Him.
Now I could care the less what brand I wear as long as it looks modest on me. It is liberation when you no longer have to prove your worth to people. There is joy and strength to live a victorious life when you know and you know who you are according to the truth – the Word of God.
Next time when you're feeling stuck, examine the thoughts in your mind. Write them down if you have to. Then ask God to reveal to you why you’re having those thoughts. Ask Him to reveal those unconscious thoughts as well. Ask Him to give you strategy to replace those ungodly thoughts with His truth. I promise you, He will in a gentle way forever heal and set you free.
I’ll talk about the renewing of mind that is crucial in replacing the negative self-talk in my future blog. Stay tuned!
I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul* prospers.
Note: Our soul consists of our mind (what we think in our head), our emotions (how we feel in our heart) and our conscience (what we know is right or wrong).
If you have any question, you can send me an email at: Yusan@IntentionalLifeCoaching.org