Have you ever told yourself that you were not able to do something because deep down you were afraid of fail?
Have you ever refused to take on a project because you were afraid that you didn’t have what it took?
Are you overly cautious in your current relationship because you are afraid of getting hurt again?
Are you afraid to be yourself because you afraid that people may not accept who you are?
Do you have a dream of starting your own business but you are afraid of losing your current job, so you still haven’t taken any action to fulfil your dream?
Are you fearful of your child or children getting into a wrong crowd and doing bad things, so you become a helicopter parent hovering over them, and that drive all of you crazy?
Are you micromanaging your staff because you’re afraid they won’t perform the way you want them to and there won’t have good results for your company?
Are you constantly worrying about your mate, your children, your parents and yourself getting into accidents?
Are you often worried about not having enough money and not able to meet ends?
Are you worried about your mate cheating on you?
Are you worried about getting old and being alone?
What is that one fear or worry that controls the quality of your life?
One decision we make can change the course of our lives.
The decision we’re going to make here regarding fear is to deal with it rather than allowing it to take residence in your mind, because if we don’t deal with it, it will continue to rule in our lives.
Right amount of cautiousness is to prevent us from making wrong decision but overly nervous on something to the point that is affecting our lives in a negative way, producing negative results, causing health problems, or hindering us from moving forward. Then we have got to say “No” to that fear that’s stopping you from having a quality life.
Fear most likely shows up in our lives as False Evidence Appearing Real. It is an illusion. Something we fabricate in our own minds and pretend is real often based on our past experiences. Please remember our past does not have the power to determine our present or future until we allow it.
Fear is like a seed, when we allow it to be planted on the soil of our minds, it will start to grow. When we dwell on it long enough, it will grow roots, and we will do the things that our fear tells us to do or not to do.
So here are four simple steps to deal with fear.
Step 1: When your fear shows up, don’t take the bait. Don’t ponder on it. Do not dwell with your fear. Think right away the opposite or think of something good and positive.
Step 2: Say the opposite of what your fear is trying to scare you. For instance, say, “My child will not have any accident.”, “My boyfriend will not cheat on me. He’s a faithful man.”, “I will start my business and I will have all the resources I need to fulfil my dream.”
The key here is to verbally declare what you want to see in your lives (not silently agree with what your fear tells you). Find a private place to say out loud so you can hear yourself. Our brains plan what we say and our bodies perform what we declare to our lives.
Step 3: Don’t’ give power to your fear. Don’t exaggerate or magnify year fear. When your fear shows up, in some cases, ask yourselves if you’re ok with the result when things don’t go the way you expected. For instance, ask, “Will I be ok if I fail my project?”
Sometimes, we overly exaggerate the consequence or effect on us. Remember, successes and failures are part of life. We failed last time, doesn’t mean we will fail now or the next time. Besides, failure is the mother of success.
Step 4: Focus on your goals and kick your fear to the curb. This ancient wisdom of “What you give weight to is what you will receive from” empowers us to only focus on the things we want in our lives. Create mental pictures of the wonderful things you want in your lives, then mediate on them. Use your five senses to envision your bright future. Put your face into your future – what does it feel like? What does it smell like? What does it sound like? What does it look like? And what does it taste like?
To wrap it up, I’d like to share an inspiring story of a teenage who grew up in a poor area of Brazil. When a teacher asked him what he wanted to do growing up, despite his current condition living in a poor area with minimal chance to see success according to most people, he said to the teacher as if fear was absent in his vocabulary, “I want to be an interpreter travel to England and teach in front of a large group of student in a grand cathedral.” The teacher was amazed how affirmative the young man was. The teacher is my personal friend. He told me that two years later he received a letter from the same young man saying he was now in England working as an interpreter and he just taught in front of a large group of student in a grand cathedral.
We learn that the young man was believing and declaring for his bright future focusing on his goals rather than paying attention to his natural fear.
May you be in good health so as your soul prospers.
If you have any question, you can send me an email at: Yusan@IntentionalLifeCoaching.org